I met a guy online and didn't know if I was going to be into him or not. We arranged for a meeting in a message session (I am a message therapist). He ended up really enjoying the session and it seems he would want another one. However, as I ended up liking him, it was unclear how he felt about me and possibly dating. At the end, he said,"yeah we need to get together and have tea" I'm not sure if that is a brush off or not. I want to let him know that I didn't want to take his money 'cause I was interested in him. He also invited me to call him for tea sometime, but I think he needs to make the next move.
Let me know what you think, and what I should do.
Thanks, JJ
Dear JJ,
You're instinct is correct. The guy needs to always make the move. A common misconception with women these days seems to be that they can move a guy along with a little encouragement by making his moves for him. However the truth is, unless you have rejected him, he needs no encouragement. This is simple, if he is interested in you, he will call you. You don't need to worry about "clarifying" anything for him. Don't DO anything. Just BE. Be receptive and sweet and he may come around. I can tell you right now that him "inviting you to call him for tea sometime" does not look too promising. The best thing you can to do for your case at this point is to ABSOLUTELY not call him. If he calls you to schedule another appt and it takes it just there, than you have your answer. If something materializes in the future, it won't be because you made any moves.
And JJ, remember, don't give him any ideas on whereor when you can go, don't be available the first time he asks you - then when you tell him you're not available "Friday" night, don't give any alternatives... wait for him to think of the next available time to meet, then say "that sounds nice." ;) Stick to these simple guidelines and when the next guy comes along who is willing to make the effort, you won't have to be wondering if he's into you. Trust me, it feels good and it's worth it. You are worth it.
There it is straight up.
Taylor
